What are you going to do now that you’re back?

A question I receive often from family, friends, and over-interested strangers who find out I’ve been back for about a month now.

I hit the “month mark” and celebrated by watching sleet fall from my grandparents’ house in a Connecticut suburb of New York City. Against all my better instincts, I had taken a road trip that would lead me through DC, Baltimore, New York, and Pittsburgh before heading back into Ohio with a lesson learned that will surely be looked back upon as the turning point in my recovery process.

At the beginning of this trip, I could hardly be considered “ready for society.” I drove to DC alone, and just in time for the Rally to Restore Sanity. Though a crowd of…200,000? Six billion? Who knows…might have been a bad idea for someone for whom social interactions were difficult, I found the crazy crowd, all hoping for more more sanity and (sorry Colbert) less fear, endearing. They were there to call to mind the same frustrations I’ve felt since returning. So being smooshed in a crowd was worth it.

Halloween was also a welcome taste of home. I didn’t get to celebrate my favorite holiday last year, as I was stuck at site and not allowed to travel. Not to mention I celebrated it with a wide range of Returned Peace Corps Volunteers. Turns out in DC you can’t throw a stone without hitting one. And they all had sound advice to give, the best of which I received in the RPCV Career Center: “The R in RPCV should stand for Recovering Peace Corps Volunteer.”

Recovery often indicates overcoming a negative experience: cancer, alcoholism, what have you. Peace Corps service is anything but negative, but it still requires recovery. I think the breadth of the experience indicates that I will never truly recover. This realization was the lesson that will be my turning point in recovery – that I’m recovering, and it’s ok.

I left for New York where I spent a relaxing weekend with my best friend and watched my dad run the NYC marathon (further inspiring my running). By the time I left for Pittsburgh to stay with night with Katie, another PC/Namibia alum and meet up with Mark, my site mate for a couple months in Okahandja.

I returned willingly to Ohio. Too many days on the road can make me as tingly for a home base as too many days at home can bring on the wanderlust.

It was only a couple days before I left for Boston for an RPCV Career Fair and to spend some time with my Uncle Bobby. It was in Boston that I realized something else important. It’s ok that things are different now. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m different, I’ve changed and matured from the experience, and if that means I want to go to bed at 8pm, then that’s ok.

So I’m back at home now, and trying to figure out what to do next. I’ve come up with a routine: Get up. Run. Shower. Eat. Sit down in front of the TV with my computer, watch Man v. Food and apply for jobs (if Adam Richman can eat that enormous burrito, I can find a job). Work on my C++ class. That’s about it.

Slowly, routine will bring me back to “normal.” But like I said…I’ll always be recovering.

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